Everything Old is New Again

It completely baffles me when people say that the best years of their lives were in high school. Seriously?! Because if that's the case, I'm pretty sure I did it wrong.

The only reason I'm so happy here is because it's over. Of course, you can't see how much I stressed in advance by visiting the doctor for

1. A more permanent method of hair removal 

2. Medications to clear my skin

3. Heavy-duty antiperspirant for my sweat issues.

So, yeah, if given the chance to go back to an earlier point in my life, it wouldn't be adolescence. No, I'd jump much earlier to the magic, awe, and wonder of early childhood, a time when everything was interesting and entertaining. See? Apparently I even found snack foods utterly captivating.

I often think about this around the holidays. As an adult, the holidays have become about dividing time equally with our different families, "saving" money by buying gifts that are usually gathering dust by February, and constantly checking the road and weather conditions while contemplating what time is too early to break into the (heavily...seasoned) eggnog. Having a child has brought, yes, an extra level of anxiety to the planning...but it's brought an even greater, and much-needed, layer of that long-lost sense of magic, awe, and wonder.

This is the first year that Grace really grasps some of the ideas behind Christmas, and I'm rediscovering the joy myself. Take trimming the tree: the tree is her favorite tradition so far. She's taken it upon herself to turn on the twinkling lights each evening and rearrange the ornaments so they "look better." Ornaments move and break, needles fall on the floor...and it's okay.

She doesn't just love looking at the tree; rather, she revels in being near it. If her stuffed friends can join her, all the better!

It's not all about lights or presents, either. She's excited about celebrating Jesus's birthday, so she's practicing: she loves saying her prayers, methodically holding hands, saying "Dear God," and kissing Jesus after "Amen." 

The draining stress that accompanies the holidays? Still there. The desire to never relive my high school years? Really, really still there. 

But the other thing that's still there is the innocent wonder about a season dedicated to family, faith, and reflection. I may have lost the magic for a time, but Grace came along at just the right time to remind me: it's always been there, and it always will be.