Feminine Wiles

I've always had an oppositional response to challenges. Struggling with tragic childhood events? Get a symbolic tattoo on my 18th birthday (yep, the exact day). Diagnosed as potentially-diabetic while also being needle-phobic? Let's get a tongue-piercing. I can't write it off as an adolescent whim, either; as many of you know, my response to finding gray hairs was to go all-silver across the board.

I'm aware that my choices aren't always popular, respected, or understood. This year, on the first day of school, a student (who has since become a favorite) suggested I should have warned my new students about the skull tattoo on my foot since "people like that are scary." And would it shock you to learn that, one of the "people like that" has become a teacher he respects and with whom he finds value in her teachings (through his own admission and that of his father)? Imagine. That. 

See, I've never had much patience for people who make judgments on something as trivial as appearances. I've always taken the approach that, if you can't see beyond how I look, you don't deserve to know what else is there. But-- no shock -- the "real world" functions differently than I do. 

That "real world" includes my husband, whom I absolutely adore. When I came home last month with gray hair, he (shockingly) stood by the old adage, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"...until yesterday. At which point he expressed his first vocal response to my hair: "Are you going to dye it back soon? I'm tired of you looking like Gran."

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OUCH. Better you'd kept your mouth shut, dear. No lie: his words hurt, and they hurt quite a bit. But they also made me curious. How does the world view aging men and women? I went to my greatest source of information: Pinterest (duh!).

Search for older men? Here's what I found. Charlie Hunnam - 35 years old (and admire my restraint at not posting more photos of him because 😋😋😋); George Clooney - 54 years old; Idris Elba - 43 years old; Robert Downey, Jr. - 50 years old; and Mark Wahlberg - 44 years old. Fine, none of them are teeny-boppers but, really?! 35-54 years...that's old?!!? 

 

Then, of course, you can compare with the results from older women. In addition to three nameless, beautiful older women (if you know who they are, please tell me, because they're stunning!), we get Iman  60 years old; and Helen Mirren (in a bikini, of course) - 70 years old. 

So the youngest (known) older woman is 60 while the oldest (known) older man is 54? Well, sorry (not sorry) to be blunt, but I call bullshit. Every single one of the "older" examples is a gorgeous display of beauty, regardless of age, yet they're not the be-all/end-all. Neither am I, not now nor have I ever been, especially as I'm not as thin or as well-rested as I ever was before having a child. To which every parent ever says: DUH. 

So...what's my point? Well, the world has absurd expectations, for all of us, really (because truth be told? Charlie Hunnam as the typical 35-year old man? Whew, how I wish!) and it's Just. Not. Right.

Are you seeking health, happiness, and all-around fulfillment? Well, congratulations then, kid, because there's nothing more you could ask for...Charlie or Helen notwithstanding. 😉