It Just Takes One

You know how some women get within 20 feet of a baby and their ovaries kick in, wailing and telling them it's time to get crackin' on a baby? Yeah, it turns out...I'm NOT one of them.

I babysat for my adorable nephew tonight, and it was the first time I'd cared for an infant in over two years, since Grace was that little. Being with him, I was reminded of how very different a baby makes life. There's the portable crib to take care of all the naps or as a "storage unit" when whatever task (say, wiping, for instance) doesn't allow a free hand.

Despite eating such a small amount, the kitchen becomes oddly dedicated to meeting those tiny needs.

There were all the softly-scented towels and toys used to wipe the spit that just couldn't be contained in the cheek-y wide-open baby grins.

And then there's the cutest: tiny fingers...

...and tiny toes (which, yes, are covered in socks; I was not going to let those sweet little toes catch a chill!)...

...which are delicate and chubby and just destined to be covered in smooches. And smooch them I did, because this amazing little boy is just too stinkin' cute!!!  

And yet...I loved watching him, and I'll jump at any opportunity to hang out with my sweet nephew, not just so my brother and sister-in-law can have some time to themselves, but because I have fun with him. 

Similarly, if you spend five minutes around me, you know that my daughter Grace is the absolute greatest joy in my world, a love beyond any I'd ever imagined.

And yet...I'm not hankering for more children. In fact, I grow more convinced that my beautiful girl will be my one-and-only (though I never say never because, well, fate can lead you down unexpected paths).

In truth, part of me -- and yes, a substantial part -- feels guilty for feeling this way. If I really loved my daughter and my nephew, wouldn't I want more young ones scampering around my house? Well...no. I love my nephew much as I love my husband or my daughter. I love them with every ounce of my being, but that doesn't mean I want more. Sometimes, more can be too much. Sometimes, for some people (or maybe just me), one is all you need.